The struggle is real
The climb uphill
To that moment of peaceful appeal
To my soul
Learning to be me
Learning for me
Why does this free time
Cause me reel
With concern for
The list of to-dos
Created by mois
Yet ignoring that
Which I'd preach anyone else to address?
It's day two of the work week part of Spring Break and visit day four of visiting my grandbebe. Obviously, as so many families sacrificed not seeing each other throughout this last year, I am excited beyond measure! Now that all our adults are vaccinated this can happen! Though bonds were created via MartcoPolo and FaceTime, and first birthdays were celebrated via Zoom calls, along with distanced outdoor visits when weather allowed, nothing compares to the physical interaction in person. Though I remain masked while we play (our little nugget has Cystic Fibrosis and her health is a priority), this grandmom gushes with glory every time we venture into a new area of play. So far, we have danced the Elmo Slide and the Conga, colored a Moana coloring book, read stories, had dinner, played "missing" aka peek-a-boo, counted stuffed animals and toes., laughed lots...oooh, what will today bring?
It is truly hard to believe that it is the 29th of March already! What? Only 3 more days of slicing? When this adventure began, I doubted my commitment. What would I ever write about? Will it be an additional stressor to an already crazy busy year?
Happily, I found it a welcome practice. I approached each day eager for a little observation that may become my topic for the day's entry. I found myself looking at even the simplest moments of the day with appreciation as they became candidates for reflection. That experience alone will more than likely bring me back next year.
I enjoyed reading snippets of coworkers' days and making new writing acquaintances. I learned about my own writing weaknesses and strengths not only through my own experience, but so much from reading the the many entries provided by this slicing, writing, wonderful community! Here's to a few more days!
Humanity is clearly aching for a reawakening for so many reasons this spring, but doesn't it seem like spring is struggling this year? Here in the Chicago-land suburbs, we've enjoyed a few teaser days of warmer temps, of leaving the coat in the car days. Some of us have hopefully packed away the hats and scarves, only to pull them out for one more round.
The new green growth peeking through the soil hints at the glorious days ahead, and yet today, a cold, close to twenty mph northwestern wind keeps temperatures from warming up. But ah, in the safety of one's car, that spring sun coming in through the window stirs longings for the feeling of the sun's warmth on one's skin on a summer day. You can do this spring! Break through, warm us, rejuvenate us, heal us.
Well, here's to authenticity! This is a panic ridden entry of sorts. After spending a rather leisurely "day one" of spring break, which included going back to bed after taking the dog out, a relaxing breakfast cooked up by the hubs, a lovely spring walk around my favorite pond, a visit with the grand-bebe, then the enjoyment of cooking a nice salmon dinner at a pace free of panic and including popping a quick gluten free cake in the oven...it happened. I stepped into my little home- office-y space to close the shades, saw my laptop, and screeched "I forgot to slice today!" So here I am- sharing the urgent writing brought about by perhaps, too much relaxation today. That's okay- I'll take it! My panic provided my slice.!
Cheers to the ah...
Cheers to the "yes!"
Cheers to the freedom
Away from my desk.
Cheers to the rest
Cheers to the Zzzs
Cheers to the time
To do what I please!
Happy Spring Break everybody!
Stay safe, stay smart.
Before you know it-
Again we start!
“Chutsie!” shrieks my grandbaby when we FaceTime. She points at me and looks to her mama for approval. Emily gleefully giggles and repeats “Chutsie”! And my heart melts.
Close to two years ago, when my daughter was excitedly expecting, she asked what I’d like to be called once the status of grandmother is a reality. I insisted that my grandchild and I will figure it out organically, but upon her insistence that she needs a name to refer to me by...I pondered a bit. Settling on Gram, I also regretted not having a word in Lithuanian to offer as an option. The term I called my grandmother, “Senelyte”, literally translates to “little old lady” so I wasn’t feeling it. The other popular term “Močiutė” didn't have much warmth to me- it reminded me of some of the tougher grandmas in the extended family.
As the due date crept closer, I was asked again, and when I suggested “Gram”, I was pleasantly surprised when my daughter heartfully explained that she was hoping to have a connection to our Lithuanian roots for her daughter-could we use “Močiutė”? I acquiesced, and now absolutely love the organic original version that has evolved. For a few months I was "Te" as Emily latched on to the final syllables of most words. As her speaking grew, so did my moniker- dear sweet Emily christened me with- “Chutsie”!
Clearly, we've all learned lots in the last year. Folks have discovered new hobbies, strengths and weaknesses, been more reflective, reconnected with their households, etc. How many have encountered what I call "screen strain"? Oi! So badly that I struggle to approach my laptop at home. Personal email inbox- outta control!
Today- after an all day meeting/planning day where wonderfully, so much work was done, I sadly approach this screen to write, to post, to read. My eyes are screaming "No! No more!" And I shall listen to them. Systane dry eye relief drops and couch, here I come!
As I roll into the dentist’s parking lot this morning, I wonder what the damages will be. Both dental and financial. You know the story- you walk in for a scheduled cleaning appointment, and you trudge out with an appointment for a crown, perhaps preceded by a root canal, and an estimate that makes a major dent in your budget.
I meet the new tech, who keeps mumbling that my teeth look fabulous for not having been in since 2019. She almost sounds disappointed. “Wow- whatever you’re doing is working. I’ll have to check if it’s really 2019 that you were last in.” I’m feeling like a dental disappointment right around now.
I explain to her that my goal is to still have my teeth and my mind at 90. Her query of whether or not I have family that lived that long peeves me a bit, but I’m too focused on waiting for the expected dental demise of this appointment to care.
X-rays are taken, compliments continue and yes! I roll out of the dentist’s parking lot with a deepest sense of pride! It’s amazing how something so simple can set the tone for the day. I arrive at school at lunchtime with a spring in my step and a sparkle in my smile!
I don’t recall a school year during which so many babies came into my corner of the world. We seem to be celebrating and welcoming a new bundle of joy with regularity this school year- a welcome and refreshing act compared to the reality of 2020-2021. That thought this morning inspired this simple verse to be “penned” over lunch.
Thank you babies-
For reminding us of
In which you revel.
Thank you babies-
For bringing us
Back to the basics
To showing us
What really matters.
Thank you babies-
The world needs that.